We teach our children an abundance of skills, from playing well with others to respecting authority. But, are we showing them how to give back and what it means to put the needs of others above themselves?

It’s a tricky topic to discuss. Having to explain to the young minds why a dog was abandoned, why a child stays hungry or why that man doesn’t have a home. Hurt and sadness can (and does) show its face in many places, and so often, adults are eager and willing to make those situations right through giving back. What about our children, how do we teach them about the complex act of serving others?

Alan Briggs, North Carolina’s Executive Director of Feeding America Food Banks, highly values family volunteering. “In this busy world, where even a family meal is a challenge to carve out of the day, volunteering offers a chance for families to share time together, connect and learn and feel good about themselves and each other.”

That’s the reality of families today. We are all under the firm pressure of the word, “busy.” It affects many areas of our lives, especially areas that don’t fall under the category of being “necessary.” That’s where volunteering lies, in a category behind school, play dates, sports and family events.

Maureen O’Leary, Associate Director of Youth and Young Professional Engagement for the Habitat For Humanity, sees a strong benefit in family volunteering, “families have a shared experience as well as opportunities for parents to promote civic and community engagement with their children.” Hearing this may encourage families to move volunteering to the top of their priority list.

Briggs and O’Leary both provided many powerful points when it comes to family volunteering. If you have yet to thrust your children into the world of giving back, view these points and see how they would apply to your family.

Teaches Children to Problem Solve

When in the position of serving others, you’re in a position of proficiency. Those being served may look to you for guidance and expertise; this includes your children as well. They begin looking for solutions to the problems at stake. Your child may notice an empty dish at the Food Bank that needs refilling. They are quick and passionate about solving the problem, knowing that it will help others.

“When children volunteer at an early age, they tend to become more aware of needs and challenges,” O’Leary states. This quality is carried over from the volunteering space to the home or school, as well as impacting their later years.

 Builds Confidence in the Children

“Children become confident that they can make an impact on their community,” O’Leary states. Kids today battle with abuse, bullying and harassment. Giving them a chance to shine and build confidence is gifting them with the ability to be fearless and self-assured. This will translate to the people and animals that are being served, a positive attitude creates a positive environment. Once the child visualizes the transformation he or she is making, that’s the moment they have faith in themselves to change the world.

 Creates a Bond within the Family Unit

This goes without saying. Serving others as a family is a substantial way to create a lasting bond. It’s true, the ultimate goal here is to give back, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. Take this opportunity to laugh with your kids and make memories. “Our organization’s mission is to bring people together to build safe, affordable housing for families in need of decent shelter,” O’Leary States. Bringing your family together to build homes or feed the underprivileged is an opportunity that can’t be missed.

 Exposes Children to Diversity

“Volunteering instills and reinforces the idea that you don’t have to have wealth, power or any special skills to be of benefit to others,” Briggs explains. Let’s break it down. You will be serving African-American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Chinese, People, Dogs, etc. Your children will hear different languages and see different races. They may be serving with the wealthy and the poor. Spending an hour or two on a Saturday to teach our young minds about the different cultures is a skill that will help them with the school bus, classroom and future jobs.

 Children Experience the Natural High of Serving Others

Watching a smile spread across someone’s face is euphoric, knowing that you’re the one who influenced that smile is heroic. Volunteering is gratifying. You forget about yourself for this brief period of time and focus on others, this is an extremely selfless opportunity. “Some studies have shown that children have a philanthropic instinct that peaks at about age 12,” Briggs explains. “Reinforcing that instinct with the hands-on experience of helping others in need lasts a lifetime.”

If your interest is heightened and you want to look further, below are a few organizations that allow children volunteers. In addition to these National Organizations, check your local area for people and places close to home.

Where Can We Volunteer?

Habitat For Humanity

Feeding America

Children’s Hospital

Humane Society

Nursing Home

 

 

Image Source: http://www.soulhotsauce.com/give-back/

In this issue of Cary Living Magazine, I was fortunate to cover a piece on No Excuse Mom’s. A Non-Profit organization that helps women find companionship through healthy lifestyles.

I was thrilled to also cover the 27 Picks of Summer, your guide to Triangle events and happenings!

You can view both articles here: http://www.caryliving.com/

 

I am pleased to announce that my latest project earned prime real estate on the cover of Cary Living Magazine. It was an honor to interview local boutiques and salons who helped me gain perspective on what to expect for fashion this Spring. If you live locally, snag a copy of the magazine, if you’re remote, you can read the article here.

As many of you are engrossing on your daily scan through Facebook, Reddit and popular news channels, you’re stumbling upon the same stories, over and over again. And this week, it’s that poor baby girl who was left in the hot and humid car for 4 hours (View the full story here). As many of you know, the outcome was tragic, leaving her parents and all of America in absolute heartache.

I’m watching as the father is being ridiculed and shamed, and most of me agrees with the out-lash that’s thrown his way. How dare he “forget” the most precious part of his life, whether it was a phone call, an email or a lapse in memory that swayed his judgement that day. There is, however, part of me that is deeply saddened for this man and the catastrophe he’s been faced with. We can all have our opinions, but none of us were there that day. Still, what a horrible event that could have been prevented.

This story has empowered me to perform a bit of research on the subject of paternity leave. And what I found was astonishing and, in my opinion, worth sharing. This event occurred 9 months after the baby was born, where most parents are finally catching up on sleep and feeling a bit more rested. However, we all know that having a child under the age of one is trying and laborious. And to top it all off, the pressure that’s put on us Americans to strive harder and harder at work is outrageous. I once worked a job (while I was pregnant in fact) where laboring a 10 hour day was the norm and an 18 hour day was nothing to gasp at. You become negligent and careless. Now, I’m not defending this man, but I’m sure he was under an amount of pressure that none of us are aware of, parents today are tired and exhausted and its nothing to be proud of. Why is it that pitching new business is more important than one on one time with your child? For all parents and soon-to-be parents in America, this is for you.

The average paternal leave in other parts of the world:

Slovakia: 28 Weeks Before Due Date & 2 – 3 Years After (80% Paid + Monthly Payment or The First 3 Years of Childs Life)
Bulgaria: 6 Weeks Before Due Date & 1 Year After (90% Paid the First Year / 50% Paid The Second)
Germany: 14 Weeks Before Due Date & 14 Months After (85% Paid)
Lithuania: 2 Years Total (100% Paid)
Croatia: 1 Year Total (100% Paid)
Norway: The Father’s Are FORCED to Take 12 Weeks Paid Leave (86% Paid)
Russia: 70 Days Before Birth & 18 Months After (60% Paid)

If you were to do research over the past few years, you’d find that the 9 month old who suffered a tragic death isn’t the first. There are a handful of occasions where babies were accidentally left in the car (each of these occurred while the parent was on their way to work). Maybe there’s a bigger issue here that needs to be front and center. And if the government isn’t willing to provide the accommodations needed for new parents, what are YOU going to change to provide a safer environment for your precious cargo?

We did it, we had a successful first birthday! It was wonderful, even more so than I could have imagined. Marshall’s biggest fans and littlest friends were all there to celebrate the not so little guy, and he had a blast.

Our party was held at the neighborhood park, easy for kids and parents to spread out without limits. We had a TON of kid friendly and adult related activities. All of which included kites, a bubble station, blankets, board games, sidewalk chalk and enough sweets to treat the neighborhood. No one was left with boredom on their face and laughter was abound.

We went with bright colors and simple decorations, if I had to do it all over again, I’d do it just the same! Enjoy the photos. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARSHALL!

 

First Birthday Invitations: Karmie Designs
Photographer: Robin Cain Photography
Handmade Quilt: Katie Plavcan (Etsy Store Coming Soon)

Here it is, the first birthday. It’s the day that’s over planned and under treasured by the guest of honor. I’m willing to admit that these outlandish shindigs are for the parents. The new toddler is speculative as to why people are singing to him, clapping at him and encouraging him to smear this gooey, yet intensely delicious, cake all over his face. It’s fine that he’s in the dark, mom and dad see the gratifying light.

Caring for this tiny little baby with itty bitty hands and toes, a little heart that beats, and a petite nose that breathes is frightening and extremely intimidating. That first night at home, you don’t sleep. You wonder where the little button is that makes the sweet nurse rush in, alas, it’s not there. All you have is your equally panicky husband and perplexed dogs. You get through that first night and realize, “Ok, we did it. Onward.”

Your baby then reaches one month and he’s able to lift his head and fully hear. He’s eating a little bit more and his newborn onesies are growing snug. You blink and it’s been 3 months, he’s smiling and making noises. He’s a master at tummy time and staying awake longer. You’re still greeting daily challenges, but it’s gotten easier and more manageable.

6 months, if you’re lucky, your baby is sleeping in his crib for 10 – 12 hour stretches. You’re getting your life back, you’re remembering what sleep is and you’re loving every minute. He’s laughing and he’s babbling, he’s sitting up and interacting with family members, he’s scooting and you’re starting to research baby gates and cabinet door latches. You and your husband look at each other and simply can’t believe the accomplishments that have been made by all of you. You may even cry.

10 months old and on the move. This is when I created a playroom, a vital space for this little guy to exhaust his forceful drive. While your baby is crawling, saying mama and pulling himself up; you’re still hitting challenges. Cue separation anxiety; a condition that every child faces at some point in his life. While I love being the light of his life, it can be tough. However, we’ve learned that this is an important phase and should be treated with diligence. (Tip: If you visit Marshall, don’t rush to pick him up or become overly roused at the site of him. He thrives when people simmer next to him and quietly play. Touch him and, well, you’re put on the long list of people he’s suspicious towards).

The stages of that first year are angelic and inspiring. You’ve had countless sleepless nights, tearful days, teeth ripping through gums, pacifier weaning and bottle weaning. You’ve enjoyed the firsts and you’ve patted yourself on the back, you understand what it means to breathe deeply. You as a person have changed. You’re a parent now, you don’t go out to dinner as much (come to think of it, I went out to dinner once in April and it was with my girlfriends), you don’t party on the town and going to the grocery store is quite the calamity.

We deserve a celebration. This is the largest milestone of all the milestones that we’ve hit, we survived the first year and look at our not-so-baby baby (I’m crying right now as I write this)… Marshall, Matt, Bo & Dexter, WE. DID. IT. This was the BEST year of my life and we couldn’t be stronger than we are today. And you better believe this party will be lavish and delectable.

Babies are bewitched with their intense motor skills. The ability to roll, sit and now stand vastly amuses them. If there’s a creation that allows them to practice these skills on their own, I’m going to devise it.

The (what I call) mini ballerina bar has been the utopian addition to the playroom. It encourages him to pull himself up from a seated position and walk himself along the bar. I attached a few toys to the bar to keep him entertained and intrigued, and my how it works!

Items to create this devise can be found at Home Depot

What You’ll Need:
– Two Stairwell Wall Brackets
– Wood Dowel
– Level- Stud Finder
– “ring type” toys

1) Slide the toys of your choice onto the Wood Dowel
2) Attach the Wood Dowel to the Stairwell Wall Brackets
3) Use stud finder to locate the exact place to hang your bar. (This is important, remember your baby will be putting a lot of weight on the bar). I also used my baby as a reference to the height of the ballerina bar. You want him to be able to reach it while sitting.
4) Use your level to attach the wall brackets to the wall. Make sure you check the level on each end of the bar opposed to just the middle.
5) Tadda! Enjoy the show.